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Prepare For Your
Proxy Package™
This page walks you through what to think about before you complete your Health Care Proxy and Living Will.
Choosing a Health Care Proxy
A Health Care Proxy is the person you choose to make medical decisions for you if you're unable to speak for yourself. Think of them as your voice when you can't use your own.
- Choose someone you trust who's at least 18 years old. This could be a family member, close friend, or anyone who knows you well.
- Talk with them first to make sure they're comfortable taking on this role. It's important they understand what you'd want.
- Pick someone who can stay calm under pressure, ask good questions of your doctors, and speak up for you.
- Have a conversation about your values and what matters most to you. The more they understand your perspective, the better they can represent you.
- Consider naming one or two backup proxies in case your first choice isn't available when needed.
Thinking Through Living Will Preferences
A Living Will describes the kinds of medical care you'd want in different situations. There are no right or wrong answers — only what feels right for you.
- Consider different situations: What if you had a temporary illness that you're likely to recover from? What if you had a serious condition with little chance of recovery? What if you were in a coma with no expected improvement?
- Think about your general approach: Do you want doctors to try everything possible, even if it's uncomfortable? Would you prefer to focus on comfort and quality of life? Or would you like to try treatments for a limited time and reassess?
- Consider specific treatments: CPR (chest compressions to restart your heart), breathing machines (ventilators), feeding tubes, dialysis, antibiotics, and IV fluids. You can choose your preferences for each.
- Reflect on what matters most to you: staying independent, avoiding prolonged suffering, having time to say goodbye, honoring your faith or spiritual beliefs, or something else entirely.
- Talk with people you trust — family, friends, or your doctor — to help you think through these questions. You don't have to figure it all out alone.
If you'd like more guidance thinking through these decisions, we offer optional educational calls with physicians who can help you understand your options. This is educational support, not medical advice. See Our Services for more.
Sharing and Activating Your Documents
Once you've completed your documents, the next step is sharing them with your healthcare team so they're part of your medical record. Here's how that works:
- Review everything carefully before signing — check that names, phone numbers, and preferences are correct.
- Bring your documents to your doctor's appointment. Your doctor will review them with you and make sure they're signed properly according to your state's requirements.
- Ask your doctor's office to add a copy to your electronic health record. This ensures your preferences are available wherever you receive care.
- Share copies with your Health Care Proxy and any backup proxies you named. Give a copy to a trusted family member too.
- Keep the original in a place that's easy to find — not locked away. Some people also keep a simple note in their wallet with their proxy's contact information.
- Your doctor may discuss whether a MOLST (Medical Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment) or POLST (Physician Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment) form would be helpful. These turn your preferences into medical orders that travel with you.
- If your wishes change or you have a major life event, you can update your documents anytime. Just complete a new form and share it with your care team.
Avoiding Trouble
When you have a Proxy Package™ in place, you can avoid these common challenges:
- Family members not knowing who should make decisions or disagreeing about your care
- Doctors having to guess what you would want because there's no clear guidance
- Receiving medical treatments that don't align with your values or wishes
- Your loved ones feeling overwhelmed or uncertain during difficult moments
- Delays in care while your family tries to figure out what to do
- Legal complications that can arise when there's no clear decision-maker
You're Ready
You've thought through the important questions. You know who you'd want to speak for you, and you've considered what matters most when it comes to your care. If your wishes change in the future, you can always create an updated package.